The best wedding present

May is upon us and with it comes wedding season. The therapists at MFT3 would like to turn your focus to another aspect of this new beginning, the idea of premarital counseling.

Why contemplate premarital counseling in the first place? If you seek therapy before you’re married does it mean that the relationship is flawed from the start? Here’s how we would answer these questions. Consider how you might research a company at length before you attend a job interview, how you might take childbirth classes or read a variety of parenting books during a pregnancy, how you might consult a financial advisor before choosing how to manage your assets, or how you might hire an event planner to create the perfect wedding day. Each of these are examples of investments people make into those areas of their lives that are typically identified as a priority for them.

So we would ask, why not premarital counseling? Isn’t it within the context of marriage that many of the decisions about these priorities are made? We would challenge you to be as planful and mindful about your marriage as you would be about any other important endeavor in your life. We would challenge you to have thoughtful conversations about child rearing, conflict resolution, intimacy and connectedness as well as autonomy, family of origin dynamics, and expected rules and roles in the marital relationship. We acknowledge that sometimes couples are able to find premarital guidance through their religious institutions, and we encourage you to seize these opportunities and find strength for your marriage in your spiritual beliefs as well as in the generations of marriages forged before your own. In addition, the therapists at MFT3 are available to offer support in forming a healthy foundation and lasting integrity for this most valuable entity, your marriage. For more information please feel free to visit our website or contact us at (203) 416-6008.

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