I have been struggling with this post for some time. I have come to a place of peace and resolve by truly letting go of a wrong that has been done to me and in so doing, I have found amazing freedom and joy.
Back in October 2012 I inadvertently discovered that a former colleague had been stealing my company name. They had been using it on their own website – on every page of their website – to steer business away from my company to theirs.
I remember barely being able to breathe, the impact and the magnitude of the betrayal was so great, so deep, the room became blurry, dark, tunnel-vision took over. That was quickly followed by rage and indignation in equal measures. I was hurt. I was bewildered. I was deeply wounded. And I was mad.
There was disbelief. Why me? Who would really do this to me? There was doubt. Am I not as generous and thoughtful a person as I strive to be? Did I miss something? This company is like a baby to me, my most precious creation – how could I have let someone harm it so? And there was pain in the shame of wanting this person to pay, to feel as much suffering as I was feeling. Shame over not being able to swim out of the indignant place I was in.
There were calls and letters to attorneys. There was documentation and presentations and cataloguing. But the end result was the same. Two facts never varied. This had happened and I could not afford to pay the attorney fees to pursue this in a court of law.
Thankfully, then there was a moment when, at the right time and from the right person, sanity was restored. Belief was touched and nudged in just the right way for it to gain a new foothold. My belief returned. For I believe in abundance, that there is enough for all of us, and that by focusing on the wrong, the pain, I was keeping myself in that painful place. But by shifting my view ever so slightly, my life became mine again. I believe that the universe seeks balance and that it will take care of itself, it is not my place to say when, where or how balance will be restored, but it is my place to allow myself to let go and to choose my perspective.
I choose now to see this experience as flattery. Someone admired what I had created so much that they wanted it for themselves. I choose to hold my head high and remind myself that indeed, I am as generous, forgiving and kind as I think that I am. I have an amazing life full of gifts and bounty and I am deeply grateful every day for the opportunity to do what I love so much with people I love, admire and respect.
Bad things sometimes happen to good people. I soothe clients through this phenomenon week in and week out and now I have soothed myself as well. Letting go is the key.
I have 2 things in my office that keep me balanced. One is a beautiful glass mobile, my symbol for family systems, relationships and connection, maybe even the universe. The other is a quote I keep nearby which simply states, “That which you focus upon expands”. I choose to focus on love, bounty and joy.