Tag Archives: therapy

Join Us in Welcoming Valerie to MFT3!

Please join us in welcoming our newest therapist to the MFT3 family. Valerie Le Cann Jones, LMFT comes to us with a deep background in addictions, domestic violence, trauma and family dynamics. She is a Licensed MFT from Fairfield University … Continue reading »

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7 Years! Happy Anniversary to Us!!

Well here we are, at yet another milestone. 7! We have crossed the 7-year mark! 7 years we have been blessed to serve those seeking support and assistance in Connecticut’s lower Fairfield County. 7 years of serving Trumbull, Monroe, Fairfield, Stratford, Shelton, … Continue reading »

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If only!

I often wish that this were true, that it was this easy to ease the suffering of others. In the words of Charlie Brown, “sigh.” But don’t let that stop you from coming in to therapy! Sometimes just the mere act … Continue reading »

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MFT3 News and Updates

It’s been quite a busy year so far for us here at MFT3. Like the Spring season, things around here are blooming and growing. In everything, change is constant. First, we have Trademarked our name: Marriage & Family Therapy of … Continue reading »

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MFT3 is 4!

MFT3 is proud to celebrate 4 years of service this February 17, 2013. It has been our honor to be so welcomed into the Trumbull/Monroe community with such overwhelming enthusiasm. We strive daily to meet your needs, to provide support … Continue reading »

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Making the “Right” Choice

How often have I heard from clients, “I just want to make sure that I am making the right choice”. It can be anything from which route to take to get home to whether or not to end a marriage, which … Continue reading »

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Therapy and Divorce

As one might imagine, a Marriage and Family Therapist will see many couples choosing not only to repair and rebuild their marriages, but many also come to end their marriages. Sometimes we are privileged to meet with both parties and … Continue reading »

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MFT3’s 3rd Anniversary!

MFT3 is 3! (or as my mother would say, “you’ve entered your fourth year, hunny”.) Today is the day, three years ago exactly, that the doors to MFT3 were opened. I am so proud to still be here 3 years … Continue reading »

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Advice

So often clients come in to therapy looking for “advice”. More times than I can count I have been sitting across the room from a client who is troubled and confused and had them state, “just tell me what to … Continue reading »

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When Therapy Ends

This post was chosen as the AAMFT “Member Blog of the Week” on October 11, 2011

Knowing when it’s time to quit

It’s hard to say goodbye even in the best of circumstances. But at the end of the day, essentially it is the end goal of every therapy relationship to ultimately end. Yes we are seeking goodbye from the first time we meet.

Sometimes this is done in a beautiful, Hollywood-worthy way when client reaches stated goal and is healed of the problem and therapist and client come to a collective agreement that yes, it is indeed time for us to part, sad but joyful, accomplished, healed. It can be hard saying goodbye to a relationship where you have shared your deepest secrets, fears, hopes and have grown to trust in this other person, the therapist. Sometimes the therapy relationship is the only honest and healthy relationship a client has ever encountered. Yet even then, especially then, it is important to say goodbye.

Sometimes clients say goodbye in less than flattering ways. Sometimes they just stop answering their phone. Sometimes they feel the need to yell at the therapist to aid in making the break. Sometimes they even need to vilify the therapist because they might have exposed too much, there are still some unresolved raw spots throbbing in pain.

Sometimes a therapist has to essentially fire a client, kick them out of the proverbial nest, launching them into this new world that they are now ready for. Or, sometimes, into a new therapy relationship that will hopefully address the as of yet unmet needs of that client.

Regardless of how or when we say goodbye, it is always emotional. The success stories are bursting with pride and accomplishment in both parties. The bad breakups feel bad, at least to this therapist, only in that it didn’t have to end that way. The vilified ones are awful, hopefully rare, and the fear is that the client will see the whole profession through hurt lenses and never get the healing they obviously need.

Sometimes it happens on a comfortable timeline, sometimes it feels too fast, or in the case of those being pushed out of the nest, too long.

But in the end every therapist is ready and well prepared for the goodbye. The issues arise when the clients aren’t on the same page. So take this lesson and share it – saying goodbye is hard and good, especially when done with mindfulness and understanding.

And just because the issue that brought you to therapy is resolved doesn’t mean that you can never go back. Life has a way of giving us multiple challenges. Know that it is a therapist’s highest compliment when a satisfied client returns in the future, new issue in hand. We’re here to help, ready when you are. And, ready to say goodbye again and again.

(cue Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music…)

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