Join Us! Free Ethics CEU on Dec. 11 at CCSU

Please, one and all, come and join us for the first Brown Bag Lunch discussion. The Board is trying to bring the CTAMFT membership as many avenues of connecting and educating as possible and we have initiated this new format as one more way to bring MFTs and other mental health professionals together for lunch and learning.

The first Brown Bag Lunch will be on December 11 at the CCSU campus in the Student Center. It will be from 11:30 – 1:00, and please bring your bag lunch, and maybe even a friend or colleague!

For more information, please see Networking Brown Bag Lunch & Code of Ethics Discussion Flier.

I’ll look forward to seeing you there!

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A Thought about Thanks

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courtesy of

It happens every year, but the Thanksgiving and winter holidays tend to make many folks very sad and anxious. This in turn makes me quite sad because they are some of my most favorite days and memories.

Recently I was with a client and the following quote was shared with me. I find it to be almost perfect in its encapsulation of how today’s events can bring one right back to an old, dark place seemingly instantaneously. The quote is:

“I think much of who we are is based on the stories we tell ourselves. Events that happened in our childhoods, when we are the least able to control or process the events that happen to us can come back in the form of an endless loop that gets so embedded in our psyches that they become a lens that we view the rest of the world through.”

Thankfully, this is what therapy is all about – getting into those old stories and re-writing them. Sometimes it takes a guide to assist in this transformation, and that is what our job is all about.

Maybe the gift of this small quote can assist in releasing old, stuck thought patterns and begin to bring ease to difficult events in a new way.

We wish you peace, joy and safety this Thanksgiving, and every holiday.

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Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield Accepted Again

We are pleased and proud to announce that beginning November 1, 2015, Jennifer Mayette, LMFT is now an in-network Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield provider!

Anyone interested in using their insurance can reach Jennifer at 203-416-6008 x603.


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Join us in Welcoming Jennifer Mayette, LMFT to our Team!

Jennifer Mayette

Jennifer Mayette

We are pleased and proud to announce our newest associate, Jennifer Mayette, MA, LMFT, has joined us at Marriage & Family Therapy of Trumbull (MFT3).

Jennifer joins both Katherine Allen, LMFT and Lisa Fournier, LMFT at the Trumbull location. Jennifer comes to us with deep clinical experience working with at-risk adolescents through a counseling program sponsored by Yale University. She especially enjoys working with young adult clients and helping their parents navigate challenging problems and obtaining services for their child in school.

Jennifer also has a professional business background, working with corporate relocation and all that goes with that very complex process.

Jennifer is seeing clients starting August 17, 2015. Please feel free to contact her directly at Jennifer [at] mft3 [dot] com or at 203-416-6008 x603.

Families need more support than ever. We see people looking to get balance back in their lives—clients with marital stress, parent/child conflicts brought on by financial choices, as well as anxiety, depression, eating disorders and addiction.

Life can come at you fast, that’s why we’re here to help.


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My Thoughts Regarding the AAMFT Vote

Please note: The following is the opinion of Katherine Allen, LMFT. While I express strong views concerning CTAMFT and its future in the following piece, I am not speaking on behalf of, or in the voice of, the Association.

I have been struggling with how to post this, so I am just going to do it.

For the past year I have been attending CTAMFT Board meetings as committee liaison, I have not been in a voting role. Yet at those meetings I have heard and witnessed an incredible journey regarding the future of MFT and how our national organization works.

If you, too, feel that there has been an unusual lack of information sharing from your Board, you are right. And here is why:

I feel that our membership, you my colleagues, need to know the near impossible position that the Board has been facing, the grueling agonizing over sharing what they have been voted into the role to do: educate and represent the state membership, paired with the fear of reprimand and harming their (our) engagement with the national association. I also believe you as colleagues need to know the strong-arm tactics of the current AAMFT Board, the fact of Arizona being threatened with defunding over expressing opinions and positions.

Is this an organization that you, my colleagues, need to be educated about or be tiptoeing around?

I feel that the CT Board will be relaying these unfortunate experiences eventually, regardless of how the restructuring vote plays out, and maybe the state members would have liked to have known about this beforehand.

At our 2015 conference, before anyone had seen the proposed by-law edits, we were hopeful that a “yes” vote would be possible and that we could move forward together. Now, after reading the proposed changes, I personally am voting an emphatic “NO” and here is the reasoning behind that stance:

The proposed by-laws not only eliminate geographic divisions and leaders, they move all decision making authority and funding control to very few people at the national organization. This move essentially eliminates power checks and balances at the national level.

A “yes” vote would end mandatory local dues payments starting in January 2016. This means that if CT MFTs wish to continue to benefit from the varied services and events that CTAMFT currently provides, then a new funding structure will need to be developed separate from any AAMFT involvement.

However, in the unlikely event that CT MFTs were to choose not to fund local services at all, lobbying, employment advocacy, conferences/CEUs and statewide student/new grad mentoring in Connecticut would end.

1) Only appointed task forces would be used to advise the national board in lieu of some form of representative demographically (and democratically) elected Council of Division Presidents. This system has already been used for several years prior in anticipation of this vote to create AAMFT’s current strategic and proposed restructuring plans. (and how are we all feeling about this so far?)

2) An appointed nominating committee would identify candidates for the AAMFT Board rather than an elected committee.

3) The new by-laws would allow the AAMFT Staff CEO to make decisions with full authority in absence of the Board, which is only required to meet minimally, approximately once per year.

So what would being an MFT look like without the national organization? Personally, I don’t see this as a negative in any way. CT has proven itself to be a huge success in membership engagement, in meeting the needs its members request, and is regarded as a leader in the nation regarding legislation, ethics, promotion and education. We can do this.

Finally, as a CT MFT who has just been voted back on to the Board beginning in July, I am eager to continue to be a voice regardless of the name or structure of the organization I represent because in the end, it’s all about us, colleagues, and our commitment to this very special profession and those we serve.

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31da242b476486fc44334ab0e47e498bA friend posted this list on Facebook and as I was reading it, I realized that I say ALL of these things to clients, and to myself, in any given week.

I love to share wisdom and empowerment, so here you go:

1. Be kind.
2. Don’t waste time worrying and moaning about stuff you have no control over. Let it go.
3. Everything you see depends on how you look at it.
4. Stop comparing your insides to everyone else’s outsides.
5. Listening to someone — really listening — is one of the most important, respectful and rewarding things you can do.
6. It’s awesome to collect people throughout life, but you’re truly blessed if you have a handful of besties who will always, always have your back. Even if you don’t speak to them all that often, you know they’re there.
7. The morning after is rarely — if ever — worth the night before.
8. No one gives a crap if you go to the supermarket in sweats without makeup and your unwashed hair in a ponytail on top of your head.
9. Experiences are infinitely more memorable than stuff.
10. Confidence is beautiful and powerful.
11. Laugh lines are worth it.
12. It will always boggle your mind how some people will exceed the lowest imaginable depth of stupidity, incompetence and nastiness, while others will exceed the highest imaginable pinnacle of kindness, compassion and helpfulness.
13. Don’t live your life by anyone else’s expectations, taste, hopes or dreams.
14. If you rely on others for joy, you will never be joyful yourself.
15. Grudges aren’t worth it.
16. You’ll never regret going out of your way to brighten someone’s day.
17. “Please” and “thank you” are always appreciated and appropriate.
18. Tell the little self-sabotaging voice in your head to bug off.
19. The food doesn’t matter. The table settings don’t matter. All that matters is the company.
20. Being super-busy is not a badge of honor, importance, popularity or success. It’s perfectly OK — and actually healthier and preferable — to be not so busy.
21. Despite your delusions, you have absolutely no idea what’s happening behind other people’s doors.
22. Most bad behavior and bitterness is rooted in jealousy.
23. What makes you happy isn’t the elixir that will make someone else happy.
24. It’s not always someone else’s fault. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror.
25. You can disagree with someone’s opinions and beliefs, but it doesn’t make them wrong. And it’s probably best just not to go there when it has to do with religion, politics or love.
26. Friendships change over time. Sometimes they have an expiration date and they dissolve into fuzziness. And that’s OK.
27. Eye cream is your friend.
28. Stop waxing poetic about how good it used to be. Stop fantasizing about how good it might be in the future. Savor how good it is right now. Make your moments matter.
29. It’s nice to be thought of and remembered.
30. Sometimes you’ve gotta do stuff just because it’s the right thing to do. Often it’s uncomfortable. Usually it’s inconvenient. But it’s almost always worth it.
31. Elephants don’t belong in the room. Having the tough conversation is ultimately better than living with the energy-sapping misery of resentment or misunderstanding.
32. Some stuff just isn’t meant to be. The sooner you accept it and stop trying to force it to happen, the better off you’ll be.
33. The solution to someone else’s problem that seems so obvious to you is likely something they’ve already tried and it hasn’t worked.
34. A good night’s sleep is a gift from the heavens and can change everything.
35. People will make time for you if you’re important to them. And they pretty much won’t if you’re not.
36. Sometimes you need to suck it up hard in the name of love, peace and harmony.
37. Don’t let angry people get to you; instead, try to muster some compassion for them.
38. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Stop wasting energy on stuff that isn’t your business. You just do you.
39. Accept, embrace and celebrate change.
40. Being polite and smiling genuinely can make a big difference.
41. Stillness is restorative and healing.
42. Take one day at a time, one step at a time. Break down challenges into small, do-able chunks. It will all get done.
43. Life is what happens while you’re waiting expectantly for the next big thing on the horizon to come to fruition. Savor the everyday.
44. If you push yourself and focus on what’s good rather than wallowing selfishly in the negative, things will almost always improve.
45. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it isn’t immediately apparent, but in time, and with reflection, the reason usually becomes clear. And often it’s so extraordinary and breathtaking, it’ll blow you away.
46. No matter how much you wish, you can’t will things to happen. But often, there’s a better and “righter” path that reveals itself if you keep your eyes and mind open.
47. Take a risk and have the guts to seize the opportunity, because it may not present itself again.

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Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

70858c56bf06012d2d695791e4ec2019It is with deep sadness that we announce our beloved Audrey will be leaving us at MFT3. She, along with her family, is embarking upon a new and exciting journey to Massachusetts, and therefore will not be available to us for much longer.

We are transitioning her time here as her final day will be the week of June 30, 2015.

She will no longer be taking on new clients but will be available for 1-time consultations should you be needing her expertise.

How do you thank someone for the amazing gift of caring, expertise and friendship that Audrey has brought us here at MFT3, and to the Trumbull and surrounding community?

I don’t know how. But in the meantime, please join us in wishing Audrey and her family a safe, successful and bountiful new chapter. She will be missed!!

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The Well of Being

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At Least it’s not a Monday this time

tib-cleanMFT3 is throwing in the towel today to Mother Nature and we are officially closing.

The weather is getting all of us down. Which leads more folks to seeking therapy. But we can’t serve those folks because of the weather. This is not a fun cycle.

Hang in there everyone. We’ll get through this!

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6 Years and Still Going Strong!

happy-6th-anniversaryToday is our 6th Anniversary!

That’s a lot of years doing what we love to do, with so many amazing families and individuals!

Thank you for continuing to see the value in our services and for letting us into your precious lives. We cherish the privilege of witnessing your journeys. We are immensely grateful.

It is also, again, the birthday of our little cat, Sallie Mae. She is now 8 years old and is as crazy as ever.

So to end on a frivolous note, here’s a favorite clip of mine from the old Sesame Street days, “The Queen of 6”. And let’s dive right into year 7!

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